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February 11, 2005
Some of Meredith's Favorite Stories
Hi. My name is Meredith. I worked with Mike at Wieland in the IT department. I want to share a couple of funny stories either from Mike or about Mike with you for the Mike Wolf remembered site. As I mentioned on his blog, I think of laughter when I remember Mike. We had so much fun together.
The first is just about the funniest story I associate with him. I think he posted it on his blog, but am not sure when nor how to look it up. Do you remember the story he told about running full speed into a parked car and falling out of his wheelchair on an NYC street? That story made me laugh till I cried when I read it. I don't want to sound insensitive. But you knew Mike, he was always so cool. So to hear that he did something goofy like that...it was hysterical. Anyway, if you can find his entry for that, I'd love for you to post it.
[Mike's account from 5/18/04 can be found here under "most humbling moment." Also reproduced here, I'm sure Mike wouldn't have minded:
Okay, this is the part of the book when I should tell you that I'm in a wheelchair. That wasn't a very dramatic reveal. Damn. Anyhow, it's so not a big deal and you'll forget about it within 10 minutes of meeting me. Promise. Hold me accountable if you don't. It's a tiny, speedy wheelchair anyway.So my most humbling moment would be crossing Ludlow last week completely into some tune on my iPod when I sped smack-dab into the side of a parked car. I'm not kidding. It made a dent. It was witnessed by several guffawing onlookers.]
My other favorite story is one he related to me. I won't be able to tell it as well as he did, but I'll try. He was in line at a discount/wholesale grocery store, late at night. The rather large woman in front of him was "buying" four completely unrelated items, something like a toothbrush, aluminum foil, a magazine and a can of tuna. Unfortunately, it was quite obvious those weren't the only items she was trying to take out of the store. She had stuff shoved in every available spot under her clothes. While the girl was ringing her up, half a ham (a ham!) fell out of the bottom of her shirt and landed at her feet. Instead of fessing up and admitting that she'd been caught trying to shoplift, the woman looked around and started screaming indignantly, "OK, who frew da ham? I'm standing here, minding my own bidniz and people are frowing HAMS at me! Who frew da effing ham?" (Mike respectfully edited the actual content of her message into language that wouldn't offend me.) The more she yelled about the phantom ham thrower, the more she jiggled. The more she jiggled, the more items fell out from under her still lumpy clothes. As I said, I can't tell the story as well as Mike - it was pretty funny the way he told it. Regardless, "who frew da ham?" became a catch phrase in our department. We say it when something really bad happens. For example, when a server crashes, one of us (who is still around from the time when Mike worked here) walks in the server room screaming in a too loud voice, "Who frew da ham?"
Another memory that makes me laugh is about one of the women who cleaned our office. She was an older lady who seemed just a tad bit crazy. Like most women, she LOOOOVED Mike. Anytime she saw him, she had to come over and chat with him. Mike liked the chatting. The hugging...not so much. He said that every time she bent over to hug him, her hands went down the back of his pants. It got so bad, that he began avoiding her. If he saw her coming down the hall, he'd wheel away as fast as he could. He also trained me to run interference for him. If I saw her coming, I'd say, "Hi, Miss (name withheld), how are you today?" in a really loud voice. That was his signal to exit, stage right.
I'll send more as they come to mind.
Posted at February 11, 2005 05:45 PM
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Comments
"Who frew da ham?" Dear Lord, that almost made me pee my pants!
Posted by: Mark at February 12, 2005 12:00 AM
Hi Meredith:
Your Mike story made an impression on me, apparently. While I was waiting in line at the supermarket checkout yesterday, I noticed that the woman ahead of me looked VERY dicey. She was bulky in a strange way, too.
All of a sudden, the following words ricocheted through my brain:
"OK, who frew da ham?"
I started laughing out loud, in the way that demented people talk into coffee cups or make-believe cell phones. It was a great moment.
Posted by: Searchie at February 15, 2005 09:38 AM
Incredibly, my friend Zeus (who lives near Atlanta, but has never met Mike) must have been at that grocery store that day, because he related the same story, including (his version, which we repeat all the time) "Who frew dat hammy up on me?" The cosmos is laughing.
Posted by: Jason NeSmith at February 15, 2005 03:29 PM
Glad to help you over the delusional edge there. I, myself, laugh out loud in public all the time. I try to keep it to a small private giggle, but am not always successful.
Unfortunately, the last time this happened for me was at a Diversity training session with work. There were a lot of stupid stereotype-driven phrases/descriptions on the wall for various racial groups. Under one group was written, "Will cut you." (Seriously.) That reminded me of a story my friend tells.
He and his college roommate were driving in traffic. A car with two guys about the same age as my friend and his roommate pulled up beside them. The roommate casually looked over at the car beside them, like people typically do in traffic. For no apparent reason, the guy in the passenger seat pulled out a knife and said, "I'll cut you, whitey." (I don't remember if the guys were black, hispanic or white. It would be even funnier if they were white, which kinda makes me think that they were.) My friend says that it was such a "stereotypical bad gang movie moment" that he and his friend just busted out laughing. Over 10 years later, my friend still occasionally busts out with, "I'll cut you, whitey" when he's trying to sound threatening. (But that phrase still just sounds like horrible dialog from a B movie.)
So every time I looked up and saw that stupid "will cut you" phrase on the board, I laughed. You can understand how that was an inappropriate response given the topic of Diversity in the Workplace.
Well, that had nothing to do with Mike, but it was a story that he'd heard and laughed at since he also knew the guy who tells that story. I've got tons of these stories/phrases I've picked up from various friends. Maybe I should start writing them down.
Posted by: Meredith at February 16, 2005 10:21 AM