February 20, 2005
Trying to be more self-aware, but it's hard, being a little too close to the subject. So I'm not entirely sure how I came off in my last post - did I capture a balanced snapshot of the evening, as I experienced it? Or did I lean too far and dwell on the negative, as I've been wont to do?
Really, the overall experience was a good one. It's true that there have been better ones. But my friends and I did enjoy ourselves; we're glad we could take this trip together. Do the annoyances really matter? These are things I shouldn't hang onto; they take up space in my mind when instead I could be thinking about positive or more important things. It's not worth it to be worked up about some moron, when I could take a moment to think or do something more worthwhile. Not something that's necessarily deep and profound; life can't be intense like that all of the time. But I don't need to waste my time on things that don't matter, on people who don't matter. If I've learned nothing else, I know that there's never enough time, and I have to make the most of whatever I've got left.
Well enough of that. I think maybe I'm feeling kind of guilty because with each day that passes I have to move forward. Move on. Learn to make my life worth something. It's what I'm supposed to do.
A momentary slip. The feeling will pass - eventually. Just have to pick myself up, and keep going.