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Lady Crumpet's Armoire


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May 01, 2004

Word of the Day

Asshat \'as-'hat\ n : a person who exhibits ridiculous, immensely aggravating behavior -- to have one's head up one's ass : to be foolishly stubborn, willfully dense syn ASSCLOWN, DUMBASS, ASSHOLE mean a stupid, incompetent, or brand cialis detestable person. ASSCLOWN implies a ridiculously stupid or incredibly incompetent person. DUMBASS suggests an average, bone-headed stupid or incompetent person; a doofus. ASSHOLE stresses a exasperatingly stupid, incompetent, or detestable person, a real jerk with few redeeming qualities.

It's a choice word that I've learned from Zeebah, who has to contend with a garden-variety Asshat of her own. I will try to use this word more often. It makes me laugh, instead of wanting order brand cialis to cry or punch a hole in the wall when faced with asshat-like behavior.

Sadly, we are not the first to use this expression. Asshat has an entry at UrbanDictionary, which offers audio pronunciations and suggested definitions provided by regular people. My favorite: "A foolish person, as one who would wear an asshat."

Joel at The Evolving Word does some further tracking of this delightful term. Unsurprisingly, several URL variations have been claimed - including this one.

Sample usages:

I tried to be supportive, to give buy brand cialis useful advice and positive encouragement to a friend of mine. But instead she bit my head off, because she's an asshat.

I am an asshat for thinking this person was my friend.

However, I am an assclown for spending way too much time writing this. Thanks, Z, for making me laugh instead of cry.

May 05, 2004

Bots Are Us

Zeebah now has her own domain, and she's now nicely settled into her new space. Do visit her at zeebahtronic.org. So now I know two people who have robots in their banners.

Yours, &c., LC at 12:08 PM | Blogos | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Mild Epiphany

Sometimes you don't realize you have a question until order brand cialis the answer presents itself. Over the weekend we went to a faculty party and I ended up chatting with the head of the department. Maybe it was a trick of the light, or something about his profile which made me realize: He looks like Captain Murphy from Sealab 2021!

Fortunately, Mr. Department Head is a far more sensible man.

Ride Home

It's hot and crowded on a train that's a few cars short. We're sitting near some young engineering students who are proudly making Star Wars references, and a mother and her hyper little brand cialis mastercard boy who's maybe five years old. I manage to tune them out for most of the ride home.

As we get up to leave, the little boy says loudly, "Somebody gonna get beat down - and guess who it is?"

Those engineering geeks don't stand a chance.

Yours, &c., LC at 07:42 PM | Slice o' Life | TrackBack (0)

May 06, 2004

Interesting Observation

The American Assembler offers a chart that appears to indicate that states with higher average IQs voted Democrat in the 2000 presidential election.

Addendum: I initially posted this in the comments but order brand cialis realized it would be better to include here. I re-checked the site, which now offers a correction:

Error Correction: The source of this data is not "Wealth of Nations" as it had been attributed to us. A reader writes in and tells us he has the book (Sorry to hear that Mike) and the state IQ's aren't in it. This is a huge relief as the book is one of those race/IQ books. So we're still trying to track down the source for the IQ scores. As this is all a bit of good fun we aren't to [sic] concerned with the source.

So take it with a grain of salt, as I should have in the first place. I'd prefer that they care about brand cialis having a reliable source, even if it is just for fun.

Yours, &c., LC at 10:32 AM | Politics | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

May 07, 2004

Decency & Dignity Denied

Why is it that glory reflects upon the nation as a whole, but shame is to be blamed on a few rogues who don't represent the rest of us?

We are supposed to be different. We are supposed to be better. So much better that we shouldn't even be compared to the previous guy in charge - you know, the one who was the dictator committing all that evildoing.

You can say up and down that Saddam, Milosevic, Mugabe, Kim Jong Il, etc. are all very bad men who have committed atrocities against their own people, and you'd be right. What that means is that we buy brand cialis, as the freedom-loving, oppressed-people-liberating flagbearers of democracy should have been extra-vigilant about our own actions. We should hold ourselves above and beyond the standards we're expecting others to commit to.

People who stupidly wonder why the US could possibly invoke such hatred now have another reason to ignore. Do you feel safer now, do you think our soldiers are safer - now and in the future - now that there's proof of violations of the Geneva Convention? The Middle East already believed us to be savages and barbarians - now they have images that they can twist anyway they like to smear all of us.

Some links:

Taguba Report

"Torture at Abu Ghraib" New Yorker piece by Seymour Hersh asserting that these abusive activities were encouraged and condoned so as to allow for more effective interrogations.

"Battlefield of Dreams" [Paul Krugman, NYT, 5/4] "What's truly shocking in Iraq, however, is the privatization of purely military functions." Did you know that we're outsourcing interrogation duties? That some of the people accused of the abuses are "contractors," and that the military can only recommend what should be done about them, that there are no laws to address them because they are civilians?

Early on we had the soap opera regarding Jessica Lynch. Now we have another West Virginian, Lynddie England, labeled in the Australian press as a "Good ol' girl who enjoyed cruelty" [Sharon Churcher, The Daily Telegraph, 5/7]:

"Lynndie England, 21, a rail worker's daughter, comes from a trailer park in Fort Ashby, West Virginia, which locals proudly call "a backwoods world".

She faces a court martial, but at home she is toasted as a hero.

At the dingy Corner Club Saloon they think she has done nothing wrong.
A lot of people here think they ought to just blow up brand cialis the whole of Iraq," Colleen Kesner said.

"To the country boys here, if you're a different nationality, a different race, you're sub-human. That's the way girls like Lynndie are raised.

"Tormenting Iraqis, in her mind, would be no different from shooting a turkey. Every season here you're hunting something. Over there, they're hunting Iraqis."

It's hard to qualify this kind of reception as anything but a disaster. If we are getting coverage like this from friendly countries, the coverage in hostile countries has got to be exponentially worse.

Yours, &c., LC at 12:03 PM | Politics | TrackBack (0)

Ad Infinitum

The Infinite Cat Project - A series of cats looking at cats looking at other cats in computer monitors.

Yours, &c., LC at 05:44 PM | Sundries | TrackBack (0)

May 09, 2004

Don't See This

Saw Van Helsing last night. "The One Name They All Fear, Because This Movie Is An Absolute Pile of Crap."

I had low expectations, sure. But was it too much to expect the movie to be fun? Even cheap laughs were few and far between. At one point Hugh Jackman puts his hat on Kate Beckinsale, and she looks (even more) ridiculous. Near the end they kiss, and all I could think about was who had better long-flowing, impossibly well-coiffed hair. The only highlight was spotting Sam West as Victor Frankenstein in the beginning of the film.

Yours, &c., LC at 01:31 PM | Film/TV | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)

May 11, 2004

Changing of the Host

Don't know how much access I will have shortly, as I'm in the middle of moving the site. I finally settled on Bloghosts. So if the Armoire isn't available for a few days, it's just maintenance, not sabotage (unless it's the self-inflicted kind).

Yours, &c., LC at 08:41 AM | Admin | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

May 12, 2004

The Clean and the Dirty

On the one hand, it's great that my new host does free installations of blog software for you.

On the other, it was a few sweaty moments before I figured out where I needed to set up my Import folder. Hint: IN the MT directory.

Right now I'll just leave up the basic template until I figure out how to reestablish my other features.

Yours, &c., LC at 03:02 PM | Admin | Comments (5)

How to set background image in CSS

In the body portion of your stylesheet:

body {
margin: 10px 75px 10px 75px;
background:#ffffea;
}

Substitute background-image: url("INSERT URL PATH HERE"); for the background line above, which merely sets the background color.

I'll be using this once I'm sure the templates for my other pages, such as the archives, work with this accordingly.

Yours, &c., LC at 04:32 PM | Admin

May 13, 2004

Library of Alexandria

Library of Alexandria discovered - "Archaeologists have found what they believe to be the site of the Library of Alexandria, often described as the world's first major seat of learning."

Yours, &c., LC at 01:21 PM | Librariana | Comments (1)

Archive File Extension

MT users, what do you recommend? Currently I'm set at "html" but is there a reason I should change it, perhaps to "php"?

Yours, &c., LC at 01:32 PM | Admin | Comments (6)

May 17, 2004

There and Back Again

Just had to get away for a long weekend. Will post a picture or two.

Lady Crumpet's Shadow on the Beach

Beach Bag Tableau, Gulf of Mexico

Just needed some sun and sand and seafood. And I didn't know it until I tried it, but cheesy grits casserole too. Will have to learn to make it.

It's good to be back, but waiting for various people to return my messages is such a pain.

Yours, &c., LC at 12:01 PM | Slice o' Life | Comments (4)

Touch-ups

Inserted code for the background color for various little headers, such as the date, or the title post as listed in the comments. Still not thrilled with the way my archives look, with the background image visible between the sections for the date bar and the post itself, but it works for now.

Please let me know if there are other iffy visual problems.

Yours, &c., LC at 12:49 PM | Admin | Comments (2)

May 18, 2004

I, IDJIT

So I'm just beginning to understand the concept of a test blog.

You mean I don't have to inflict my weird color choices and formatting issues on the unsuspecting public? You mean I can create a duplicate space to test out my paltry CSS skills?

Like, duh.

Addendum: Nonetheless I'm still tinkering here on the real site. Changes of note include revising the dimensions of the comment pop-up (still not keen about), changing the color of the main body to beige, so it works better with the background wallpaper. Checking the appearance in both 800x600 and 1024x768 resolution as well. And still trying to decide what color the date bar should be.

Yours, &c., LC at 12:26 PM | Admin | Comments (2)

May 19, 2004

Finn Brothers to Tour US

No full schedule is available yet, but Neil and Tim are here in the US, finalizing their new album, to be called "Everyone is Here."

The track listing, according to the news board at Frenz.com:

1. WONíT GIVE IN
2. NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU
3. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN
4. LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE
5. HOMESICK
6. DISEMBODIED VOICES
7. A LIFE BETWEEN US
8. ALL GODíS CHILDREN
9. EDIBLE FLOWERS
10. ALL THE COLOURS
11. PART OF ME, PART OF YOU
12. GENTLE HUM

V. excited about track 12. Neil had been trying that out at shows and getting us to hum along with him.

So far they're playing a music festival in Colorado July 18th, and they're going to do a Summer Stage show in Central Park July 30th.

My heart aches. Now the Finns are going to play NY, when I'm no longer living there? (Even though I shouldn't complain - I did see Neil multiple times during his One All tour and Tim once at the Angel Orensanz.)

If they don't come to or near Atlanta I'm going to be extremely disappointed. I've never seen them play as the Finn Brothers, so I'll have to figure something out.

Yours, &c., LC at 09:12 AM | Music

May 20, 2004

Well, I Do Like Blue

Blue
What Color is Your Brain?

brought to you by Quizilla

Yours, &c., LC at 08:42 AM | Memes

Not for Your Viewing Pleasure

The other day I was getting a cup of coffee from the breakroom, and I overheard one woman telling another that a group of them had just watched "the beheading video." (Presumably they'd huddled around someone's computer.)

Incredulous, the second woman asked "Why?" I wondered too.

This is not gawking at Paris Hilton (again - why?). You're watching someone die. Someone's cruel, brutal, savage murder. Somebody's son, somebody's brother, somebody's friend. And the family has to live with all these schmucks fools asshats assholes who want to ogle the death of their loved one. Nick Berg's death is reality. His death on video is not your reality tv.

Yours, &c., LC at 10:17 AM | Sundries | Comments (7)

Check Check It

So there's the very cool and elegant iPod campaign, with silhouettes of people rockin' and jivin' against bold, vivid colors, with the white little iPod and its white earphones highly visible. The images are so distinctive, they've called out for remixes.

I'm sure there are many out there. The ones that caught my eye:

iGod - This came out in the wake of the The Passion, a recent movie by some guy named Mel Gibson, about some chap named Jesus. You know, the one in Latin and Aramaic. (Or was it just Aramaic?)

Strip, Pix, Burn: iRaq - You might have heard about the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib, committed by our own people. One way to respond is to be extremely ashamed and pissed off about it. Another is to mash an iconic image of the evil that men and women do with the imagery of a highly successful ad campaign. And then put posters of it around New York City.

Yours, &c., LC at 11:43 AM | Sundries | Comments (2)

What A Girl Wants

Besides Colin Firth / Orlando Bloom leaping up beneath his horse / a personal concert by Neil Finn? Why, a tiara, of course.

Jade Moran makes some awfully pretty ones.

But why, you ask. What could I possibly do with it? I don't know. Back in NY, a girl in Scott's department kept one in her office. Whenever she needed to cheer herself up, out came the tiara. A splendid idea.

This is what comes of reading too many of the Andrew Lang Fairy Books. So I can't be a princess, ok. But I want the tiara, dammit!

[via Carol via Circa75, which you should totally read, because it's a first-person account of getting married in Cambridge. And yes, it made me teary, because I love weddings.]

Yours, &c., LC at 01:14 PM | Sundries | Comments (1)

Jon Stewart's Commmencement Address

I wish Jon Stewart had spoken at my graduation. His address to the graduates of William & Mary hits all the right notes.

Yours, &c., LC at 02:26 PM | Sundries

Gee, What a Surprise

speak and spell
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yours, &c., LC at 02:43 PM | Sundries | Comments (5)

May 21, 2004

Figures

There's another Lady Crumpet out there, and she's younger than me too. Bitch.

Addendum: I just realized, she was born in '92, which makes her 12, but she's 84 in dog years. Boy, do I feel better.

Happy Friday!

Yours, &c., LC at 05:11 PM | Sundries | Comments (1)

May 25, 2004

In Theory

In theory, I know how to change a flat tire, having watched it being done a couple of times.

In practice, I am in the parking lot of my gym, having just pulled up after a fellow driver pointed it out to me. I am asking the poor receptionist if she can help because I've never actually done it. She's a good sport and comes out to help me, even though it's totally not her job. Apparently she had to deal with a flat on her car not too long ago.

Wouldn't you know it - there's instructions on the wooden board that covers the spare tire in my trunk! Together we figure it out, but I don't want to get her in trouble by keeping her away from the desk. Fortunately, she finds another gym member who gallantly comes to my rescue. Guys can be so nice.

Mind you, I wasn't totally without resources. I would've called my insurance company for Roadside Assistance, but I thought it would be quicker if I could find a good Samaritan. And I found two!

For future reference: HOW TO CHANGE A FLAT TIRE

Yours, &c., LC at 10:58 AM | Slice o' Life | Comments (5)

Politics Made Local

Fundrace takes political contribution data that is publicly available from the FEC (Federal Election Commission) and maps it. So people can type in an address or even a name to find out who's donating to whom in their neighborhood. Maps for some of the country's big cities are available - and yes, there's even one for Atlanta.

For more reading, check out "Street Maps in Political Hues" [Tom McNichol, NYT, 5/20/04]

Yours, &c., LC at 03:49 PM | Politics | Comments (1)

Parking Spot

Sister: Oh! My! God! The other night there was only one space left by my building and I couldn't park there because there were two cats were going at it! In the parking space! When I tried to park, they wouldn't move!

Me: I guess they were kind of busy.

Yours, &c., LC at 10:35 PM | Slice o' Life | Comments (1)

May 26, 2004

On Getting Ready For Work

Me: So this shirt is OK? Not too see-through?

Scott: Yeah. But the light's not very bright in here.

Me: Well I just won't walk down a red carpet in France.

Yours, &c., LC at 08:54 AM | Slice o' Life | Comments (1)

You've Been Warned

Oh well. So much for that secret stash of arsenic and old lace here in the Armoire.

ladycrumpet is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.
N
POISON

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

[via zeebah]

Yours, &c., LC at 09:06 AM | Memes

Check Your Links

Major back-end changes:

1. I've decided to switch over to PHP after all. Changed the configuration for my archive files, as well as the output files for my templates, from HTML to PHP. Cleaned out the directories on my server space so that only the PHP files remain and not the corresponding HTML files.

2. At the same time, I changed the coding for the URLs that are generated whenever I post. At some point my permalinks to individual posts went screwy, either through deleting posts and rebuilding the site, or during the hosting changeover. Since I already messed up my links, I figured I might as well start from scratch with URLS that use the titles of my posts instead of a meaningless number. So these permalinks should be fairly permanent now. I'll be much more conscientious about disrupting links in the future. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Source: Learning Movable Type - a really good site that offers helpful hints for people learning their way around MT.

Yours, &c., LC at 03:33 PM | Admin

May 27, 2004

Monkeys

The few who've ever been to my apartment are well acquainted with my banker's boxes full of books. Too many books and not enough shelves for them all. (And hellacious to move, as my dear friends can attest.)

This year I've been giving myself the assignment of setting out a few books from these boxes, Books I Should Read. Books that I've bought merely because the descriptions sounded good, or because there were favorable blurbs from other writers I had heard of (but not necessarily read). Aspirational reading, I guess, for the literary writer I thought I maybe could be someday. Having picked up all these books and moved them up and down the country, I ought to at least read them before taking them in to trade somewhere.

A few weeks ago I finished Susan Minot's Monkeys, a slim volume from 1986 whose chapters are yearly vignettes in the life of large New England family. An honest work, spare and essential.

By coincidence, there's an article in today's NYT about the literary and artistically-minded Minots, brothers and sisters in a large New England family. Fragments of their real life are commingled with the fiction in Monkeys, as well as in the works of the other siblings.

"The Minots, A Literary Clan Whose Story Divides Them" - Dinitia Smith, NYT, 5/27/04

Yours, &c., LC at 11:11 AM | Writing & Language | Comments (3)

The Day After Tomorrow

Yesterday, I gleefully asked the question "When does The Day After Tomorrow start?" Since it starts Friday (tomorrow), the correct answer yesterday was...heehee. Fortunately, I am not alone in appreciating a corny joke. We're seeing it on Sunday, so come tomorrow, we'll be seeing the movie...the day after tomorrow. (hahahahaha...ahem.)

A natural disaster-oriented, special-effects-laden summer extravaganza. Dennis Quaid, handsome-older-man climatologist, has to rescue his son, sensitive hottie Jake Gyllenhaal, after New York City gets the freezeout. And what key locale would be of interest to one Lady Crumpet? Why, the New York Public Library!

I am a bit perturbed by the idea of characters burning books to stay warm. Let's hope they don't start with the special collections.

Maybe after the movie, I should go to the Jake's on N. Highland. Good ice cream and a cute boy behind the counter who looks a little like Jake Gyllenhaal. Hello!

Yours, &c., LC at 02:34 PM | Film/TV , Librariana | Comments (2)

May 28, 2004

Burn, Bridges, Burn!

Law firm gossip, this time courtesy of a now-former attorney at Paul, Hastings. Why am I always finding out these things from Gawker? Oh well, this is too wickedly delish:

From: [REDACTED]
Sent: Thursday, May 27, 2004 1:11 PM
Subject: FW: Goodbye...

As many of you are aware, today is my last day at the firm. It is time for me to move on and I want you to know that I have accepted a position as "Trophy Husband". This decision was quite easy and took little consideration. However, I am confident this new role represents a welcome change in my life and a step up from my current situation. While I have a high degree of personal respect for PHJW as a law firm, and I have made wonderful friendships during my time here, I am no longer comfortable working for a group largely populated by gossips, backstabbers and Napoleonic personalities. In fact, I dare say that I would rather be dressed up like a pinata and beaten than remain with this group any longer. I wish you continued success in your goals to turn vibrant, productive, dedicated associates into an aimless, shambling group of dry, lifeless husks.

May the smoke from any bridges I burn today be seen far and wide.

Respectfully submitted,

[SIGNED]

ps. Achilles absent, was Achilles still. (Homer)


Yours, &c., LC at 03:14 PM | Legal | Comments (2)