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May 09, 2004

Don't See This

Saw Van Helsing last night. "The One Name They All Fear, Because This Movie Is An Absolute Pile of Crap."

I had low expectations, sure. But was it too much to expect the movie to be fun? Even cheap laughs were few and far between. At one point Hugh Jackman puts his hat on Kate Beckinsale, and she looks (even more) ridiculous. Near the end they kiss, and all I could think about was who had better long-flowing, impossibly well-coiffed hair. The only highlight was spotting Sam West as Victor Frankenstein in the beginning of the film.

Yours, &c., LC | 01:31 PM | Film/TV | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)

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I'm shocked!!! *snort*

Posted by: mrw at May 9, 2004 04:33 PM

Iwasn't sure what to expect of a movie where about all classic western shockers are thrown in and stirred to a stew. It seemed very 'uber'. You probably saved me from another disappointing visit to the movies.

Posted by: mademoiselle a. at May 9, 2004 05:17 PM

mrw: At least I'm not anointing everything I see as "brilliant." :p

mademoiselle a: Agree about the "stew" trend. It's not so much imaginative juxtaposition as the mishmashing of cliches. But that could be forgiven, if the movie was at least entertaining. But I ask for too much, I guess.

Posted by: LadyCrumpet at May 9, 2004 10:30 PM

When we met Sam West last year, word of the film had just come out. We asked him what Dr. Frankenstein was doing in a movie called VAN HELSING, and he laughed and said it was going to be one of the most expensive movies ever made and would be "absolute rubbish." I can't wait to see it. The snark value should be high, if nothing else.

Posted by: Mags at May 9, 2004 11:57 PM

I saw this with Lady C and afterward bored her to tears with a discourse on previous Universal multi-monster epics, like Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man and House of Frankenstein. Checking this morning, I left out House of Dracula, which I haven't seen.

At least Sam West knew what he'd gotten into. I couldn't tell who was having a worse time in Van Helsing, Hugh Jackman or me.

Posted by: Scott at May 10, 2004 09:18 AM

Why is it so hard for Hollywood to make a good monster/adventure/fantasy movie? Alternately, why can't they understand that a good movie, regardless of genre, is based on script, story, and acting, not on effects?

*sigh* The life of a fantasy fan is a hard one...

Posted by: Jenica at May 10, 2004 09:57 AM

I think we should see the Olsen twins movie next.

Posted by: LTR at May 12, 2004 03:14 PM

I would see Mean Girls with y'all, but it looks like Carol has already
seen it
.

Posted by: Scott at May 12, 2004 03:15 PM

nothing could beat phyllis diller in mad monster party! now, that is a quality ensemble of monsters. actually i think i fell asleep several times, but it didn't matter i woke up to hear phyllis every now and then...

Posted by: marco at May 12, 2004 03:17 PM

ahhh, nice to see someone else who didn't like it.. i'm just going to insert my previous comments from my diary :"*deep breath* Sarah and i went to see van helsing. Please, do yourself a favor and wait for the dollar theatre. oh my goodness. worse than terrible, tho i did laugh at the hideousness of it all a lot. WAYYYYYYYY too much CG going on. would have probably been a pretty good film (cuz i like cheesy) had it not been for the terrible CG infestation. anyway, best part of the whole thing, of course, was Dracula *shivers* whatta stud. characters had a few good lines.. i like the dry stuff. and couldn't help but think how robotic everyone is when they laugh at the cue lines.. those weren't even the funny ones. sarah and i, again, were the only ones who laughed at "obscure" references... like dorky friar saying, "what is the last thing you remember?" Van Helsing replies, "fighting the Romans at Masada." Now THAT is funny (and also a big clue as to his purpose.. to fight evil, be the left-hand of god, etc. especially if you know about dracula or van helsing, and for those who don't, when Dracula explains vh's past). anyway, don't waste your money."

Posted by: crzylady at May 12, 2004 05:12 PM

I got the impression while watching this film that although it was bad, it was intentionally so. The clichés were so overdone that it was amusing to me. Perhaps not what the writers intended?

Posted by: skimkins at May 17, 2004 12:05 PM