November 27, 2003
Oh, Grow Up Already
I've been more obsessive than I thought I would be about turning 30. It's a nice round number, divisible by 3, which we know from Schoolhouse Rock is the magic number.
It's not like I want to be 20 and go through the angst and flailing around - emotionally, career-wise, relationship-wise - all over again. But then again, the idea is sinking in that I should be moving forward in some fashion, I should be more of an adult, I should get myself more together because that's what people do. I've been moving in the right direction, generally. It's not like I expected to turn wise. I guess I kind of hoped I'd feel less stupid. I mean, I know I'm fairly book-smart, but life-smart? That's something else, but it's not like most people think they've got all the answers, either. Those who do - well, I'm not sure I could wholly trust them.
The problem with a birthday around the holidays is that everybody is off doing holiday stuff with their families. I would be with my family except that they're not really into Thanksgiving this year and both my dad and one of my sisters have to be up extremely early the next day for work. But honestly, did I really want to throw a huge party and have five good minutes of conversation here and there with people? That's never been my thing, being the center of attention. And it's not like I'm being ignored or forgotten, as my in-laws have very kindly showered me with cards and gifts.
I did think I should do something dramatic to mark the milestone. I'm too much of a wuss to go sky diving or bungee jumping; roller coasters and other such rides scare me enough. For a while I considered hot air ballooning, which I still think would be worth doing sometime.
I've been revisiting the idea of a tattoo, which I've thought about on and off for years. I've also wanted to get some real stationery. What would these two random wishes have in common? Monogram design.
Anyway, I'll get over my snit-fit. I'll go out to dinner and get my free scoop at Jake's and then I'll attempt to finish my damned Nanowrimo novel. Anyway I have more important things to worry about - two librarian socials next week as well as Job Interview No. 2. This could be the one, but it's best not to get my hopes up.