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December 12, 2002

Dating is Really Really Hard

No matter what your age, no matter where you are - the process of finding a significant other, whether for right now or for life - it sucks, frankly. No, I was not one of those glittering social butterflies flitting about breezily, effortlessly gathering the boys like so many cards in a deck. I was, and still am really, a broody introvert, a wallflower of little generic, let alone particular, beauty - I'm more Mary than Eliza Bennet. I saw my friends seeming to date effortlessly; though I was happy for them, at the same time I was achingly jealous and felt more alone than ever. I felt left behind, that I had become an acquaintance of convenience, though I'm sure I was no picnic myself. I threw my energies into stillborn situations - morphine relationships that ultimately went nowhere, except for humiliation and heartbreak. What I should've realized sooner is that I needed to leave my friends to their newfound loves and carve out my own life, and make a happy one of it, regardless of whether I should gain someone's notice.

Of course, after swearing off the whole damn mess, and inflicting my own bit of pain, that's when I met Scott. It really is something of a minor miracle when you like someone and he, or she, actually likes you back.

So what prompted this line of thinking? Having read and watched Sex and the City, and recent articles about women having sometime boyfriends and girls in high school being lesbian lolitas in order to seem more attractive to guys - I realize my sheer dumb luck in climbing out of that pool. I am that much more determined not to be one of those Smug Marrieds who are all about their perfect lives of nauseating bliss.

It makes me incredibly happy to know that two of my dearest friends have recently found people they like. Because I want everybody I love to find their special someone.

Yours, &c., LC | 06:57 PM | | Comments (2)


mila grazie lady c!

Posted by: the green llama at December 13, 2002 07:41 AM

mila grazie lady c!

Posted by: the green llama at December 13, 2002 07:41 AM